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Pizza, pizza. Nope this aint no little ceasars, its lil kates. And yeah, I am on a pizza train. Why not I say. Its the talk of the town these days.

This pie, dare I say, is sex on a slice. Sophisticated, satisfying, and just, yeah, sexy.

Gone are the days of the non cheese like cheese substance, I’m bringing sexy back… with the help of a few exceptional ingredients. Rejoice the day an ooey gooey plant based cheese entered the market, not just for the vegans, but for those lactose intolerant and dairy weary people. Miyoko’s has solved this, and I wish I could buy stocks. Great thing, there are some incredible local cheese makers from Vancouver who are hard at work to get their products out there to the world. My fav right now is Blue Heron Creamery, and well, I’m kinda hoping that the peeps over at Virtuous Pie start slinging there soft stuff too.

I suppose we could call this a transitional Za as well. Summer leaning into fall, fruits and all.So, the figs are hitting their peak, and it was time to make the most of a fruit going out of season. How very dramatic. So be it the inspiration sitting on my counter, the walnut the fig, mushroom and garlic, sex on a slice…


Why eat this?

Its loaded with fiber, minerals, and healthy fats. This is going to keep your intestinal tract feeling super healthy which is not always the case with pizza. Loaded with fiber and prebiotics your blood sugars are going to stay stable, your gut moving healthy and strong, and your heart health is going to love you for that. Walnuts are amazing for the brain, so the smartest thing you may ever decide…is to eat this pizza.



  • 1 frozen pizza crust (see below)
  • 1-2 tbls coconut oil
  • 1/2 block or more 😉 of Miyoko’s Mozzarella cheese ( or cheese of your choice)
  • 1 bulb black garlic (you’ll use half. save the other for when you make a 2nd pie immediately after)
  • 8 Figs, sliced in half
  • 10-14 shitake mushrooms
  • handful of walnuts
  • handful of fresh basil
  • salt and p

I have been using and loving this brand from Whole Foods called The Gluten Free Chef. They have both Vegan and non vegan crusts in the frozen isle. The crust is fantastic and I totally recommend if you can find it.


Preheat your oven to 400 degrees, or follow the directions based on the pizza shell you have purchased

In a medium saucepan over medium heat, add in a tablespoon of coconut oil and your sliced shitake mushrooms. Saute and cook down until soft and. Crack some himalayan salt over.

On your pizza crust, the kind I used, you can use direct as frozen (because we don’t have no time to defrost sh*t) brush a coat of coconut oil and some cracked salt and p. Then proceed to arrange your toppings, start with some basil leaves, layer your mozza, then figs, add on your mushrooms, walnuts, garlic and whatever else your heart desires. Brush any remaining melted coconut oil you may have, crack some fresh Himalayan salt and black pepper, and toss that sucker in the oven

It’ll take somewhere between 10-14 minutes depending on your oven. You want to bake it long enough that the cheese and crust start to get that nice tan. And that cheese nice and bubbly. So keep an eye out.

Pop out of the oven, let cool for a minute or two and slice away, serve and satisfy.

This pie, dare I say, is sex on a slice. Sophisticated, satisfying, and just, yeah, sexy. Oh and did I mention figs are considered an aphrodisiac

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